Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize