FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
