i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
