I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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