when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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