i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
