there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize