Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
