If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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