If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
