She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
