if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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