I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
