I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You are a genius and a whore.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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