I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
