I heard we made out
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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