guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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