The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
