it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Vodka?
Forever.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
