well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize