We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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