I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
as a side note pls kill me
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