i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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