yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
