Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How naked do you want me to be?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize