watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
