i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
