I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
