Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
