awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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