Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
