I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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