my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
