How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
