If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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