The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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