He disabled his match.com account in front of me
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Even my vagina gasped.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
