So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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