I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
