Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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