Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize