who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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