My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
