i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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