I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
ttyl tear gas
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize