I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
