How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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