I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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