ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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