i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Randomize
