...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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