I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
