Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
