What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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