she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize