Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
