And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
